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all i ever wanted - 2000-02-08
Spent the better part of last night (well, the eventful part) discussing frozen beaches and romance. Trying oh-so desperately to find a place where one could write 'I love you' and have it be romantic and personal yet not too obvious. My suggestion was that it be written in glow in the dark paint on the break wall at the Port Elgin beach. Then it will be there, in front of everybody, but only those who are truly in love, will be able to see it, to appreciate it. It would be very faint, I'd imagine.. but faint enough to see on a moonless night. But my idea got the inevitable shut down. Instead, I heard some craziness about rose petals and a re-enactment of Hansel & Gretal. Or something. Whateva. Then something made me tell Chad about the Mojave desert payphone, and all he had in response was "Who goes out there to collect all of the quarters?" ---- Why is no healthy food avaliable at night? I had Burger King for breakfast which violates my fast food creed, but still, it was there. I had this six pound, medicine ball of a hamburger congealing in my fridge, and I had to eat it, because I don't like to waste things. Now I wish they had one-hour angioplasties. In and out. Breath easier! ---- So I have been away from this place. Did you miss me? Maybe the better question is did I miss you? Well, I miss being able to write. I remember the summer, where I could sit down and tell myself, "write", and I would, and it would be okay. It's because I'm dissatisfied with Diaryland, and my design, and everything like that. But on the other hand, I'm not motivated to push anymore HTML from my bowels. What I need is a good programming. I want to become one of those robotic computer science guys who spew out code like Robert Downey Jr. spews out vomit; gracefully, poetically... almost Shakespearean. They take code, and they actually can speak it as a language, and are eloquent with it. So, I'd like one of those computer science guys to program me. I'd like them to instill their HTML poetry in my brain, so I could access it when given a command word, and just let it flow from my fingertips, kind of like the picture on the front of a typing textbook. But of course I have to teach myself. Yay. We'll see how that works out. Let me get some ideas on what to do, and then I'll learn HOW to make it work. Klaatu, Verata, Nikto ---- On Friday, I saw a bunch of people, who all asked the inevitable question which is oh-so difficult to answer: "How are you?" (Well, this was all after they had asked how and why my ear was bleeding, but whateva. That's not my story here...) So, I would respond in lyrics. Why should I come up with something to say to describe my mood, when it's already been said for me? My favourite answers: "I'm doing the best I ever did, I'm doing the best that I can, I'm doing the best I ever did, now GO AWAY!" or "All I ever wanted, all I ever needed is here, in my arms. Words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm." This is what I thought more than spoke, actually. Lyrics sound stupid when you speak them. The rest of the night was trying to convince somebody to Rage Against The Machine. Hah. I think some music might really inspire loathing... Sad. ---- Going now. Becoming a blonde. Well, a pseudo-blonde. See you on the other side.
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