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mr. self destruct/construct - 2000-04-28
So, here is the thing: Apparently, I know every single word to every single nine inch nails song recorded before 1999, which leads me to believe that I have finally found the true reason why I sucked so hard in high school... Tonight, I saw Trent. Plain and simple. I saw Trent for the first (and probably last) time, after having only heard him for six years. So what can I say about that? It was nice... I enjoyed the show. I really got into it, and I was skeptical that I would. Usually it takes an excess of alcohol for music to really infect my body, and get me moving, but tonight, there was little alcohol. I just started movin' to all these songs that have played during important moments in my life, with little difficulty. Trent did everything I expected he would, and didn't do anything I hoped he wouldn't. He did all of the moves I used to emulate in my basement; swiping at his mic stand, throwing his water bottles, and clutching himself during the mellower songs... He didn't beat up Robin Finck that much, which was nice, because I didn't have the heart to see that... Made me feel that we've both matured. Yeah. He had three screens, where he put up pretty little nature films during certain tracks that were absolutley gorgeous. Once, even, the nature evolved (somehow...) into the portrait of a woman, whom I'd love to know the identity of. I had a good time, but I don't think I need to go again... As fun as it was, I ended up feeling... very unclean. Impure. The way I did two years ago. Which is why I'm not in the best of moods right now... nine inch nails still symbolizes some bad periods in my life, not as much as say, Marilyn Manson, who's message was downright destructive. But it was still there, and it was dark. Trent said that we put him in a really good mood, which is a rare thing for him... Well, I like good moods, and I think that is one thing I don't want to learn from Trent. He's taught me a great deal about creativity, and expressing emotion through art, but he has taught me nothing about being well adjusted. I used to want to be adjusted like him, but it has dawned on me that he is the only one who can really fit in there, and make a decent living. I belong... ummm... a little bit higher. So, good, good. Everything is in order then. All in all, a spectacular evening, really good music, really good theatrics, and really good lyrics... that I don't particularly relate very well to anymore. But, still... "doesn't it make you feel better...?"
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