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better than bitter - 2000-06-07
I figure I should get up and pretend that I want to write on Diaryland here... Frankly, I don't. I'm sick of this whole set up, I'm sick of the orange, I'm sick of being "whytwokay". I'm disgusted about how they start a sentence with 'Say, friend...' after I update my diary. Most annoying. I feel trashy, because I have been dogging it with design. I've been writing (errr...) HTML for over a year now, and I have made very little progress on my own. What's trashier, is that I'm having something setup so I have to do even LESS coding. I should realize, though, that I don't have the patience to be a web designer, and that, with this forthcoming system, I will be happier and more fruitful with my writing. So there. I'll just give up my fantasy of being a dot com guy who codes in a cubicle adorned with cans of Diet Coke, stacked in a pyramid. One more fantasy, down the commode. --- I guess I also feel inclined to write again, since I left on such a sour note last time. Well, I was feeling kind of sour then... But I suppose that is better than bitter. For me, anyways. Things have been kind of mellow since then. Ups and downs, like a roller coaster, followed by a nice period of cruise control, cruising into the station, ready to get off, and get on the next ride. I've not seen anybody, really in the past few days. I spent three consecutive nights with Chad... Today, I made an ornament for Shar'n's Car, that had a picture of Lucy Liu on the front, and Jim Ross (the big, fat Oklahoman wrestling annoucer) on the back. Both are kind of inside jokes, but it was much appreciated. I saw Dustin last night, too, I forgot. He came over to burn CDs, and that really was pretty much it. He organized and re-organized tracks, while I cleaned and threw out a lot of crap that I really don't need or want anymore. I threw out my Ricky Martin calendar, and a good portion of the fifty-six candles I spread around the room for mine and Kim's Valentine's celebration. Sad to see those things go. Sad, yet necessary. I'm deciding that I want a clean room, contrary to an organized, messy one. Same thing goes for life, these days... --- I have not seen Kim in a few days, because I think she was rather offended by the way I play Monopoly. Well, that's not really why, but she was none too pleased with my Monopoly persona. Monopoly is supposed to echo life, right? The real estate world? Well, in any business world there is going to be an evil, shifty guy who swindles money, and unlawfully seizes property. I thought I'd spice up the game by being that guy... My efforts were unappreciated and met with hostility. Dustin pretty much kicked me out of the game, and I got verbally thrashed for being a "freak" for the rest of the evening. Have you people no imaginaiton? It's just a game...! I will see her tomorrow, as far as I know, and that is all I really am thinking about now. I hope I am not becoming dependant... I hope it is merely a coincidence that I have felt downish these few days she's been absent. What am I hoping for? It IS a coincidence. I do miss her though, that will never be a coincidence. Okay, stop talking.
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